The Jocular Interns
by EmilyHarmony
Summary: Dr. Brennan finds her interns are in need of a team building activity. A rather lengthy one. Birthday fic for Heavenly Survivor!


Higuys! Heavenly Survivor mentioned she was a Libra, so her birthday must be around this time. Happy early or belated birthday Heavenly Survivor! Please disregard the question mark in the reviews. Just big misunderstanding. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me.

The lab was quiet as a blonde man bustled in. His appearance was dishevelled as he swiped himself on the platform. Assured he wasn't late, he took a minute to tuck his shirt in. Dr. Brennan couldn't have called at a more inconvenient time. Wendell had just gotten out of the shower in preparation for the date. He didn't expect her to call back or answer his calls. He looked up and groaned at the sight he was greeted with.

Daisy Wick hummed happily as she skipped toward the forensic platform. She was happy even though she had no idea why Dr. Brennan called her and she was on a date with Lance. He seemed disappointed, but on the drive over, she convinced herself that Dr. Brennan called to tell her she was favorite intern and wished for her to work at the lab every week. She stopped in her tracks when she saw Wendell Bray looking dishevelled and annoyed on the forensic platform. She realized that this wasn't about her. It probably involves all of them. Daisy swiped herself in, now feeling a bit ticked off that she had to leave Lance. She nodded politely at Wendell who did the same. They stood in silence until they both groaned.

Vincent Nigel-Murray walked in to the lab with a content smile on his face. He had been having a great couple of days. No murder, a date, and the serendipity of finding five hundred dollars the ground would put a smile on anyone's face. His day couldn't be better. He stopped short when he saw Wendell and Daisy on the forensic platform. He resisted the urge to run back to his car, knowing his day just lost its pleasantness. He reluctantly walked up the stairs and muttered a greeting to the two interns. They ignored him, not that he cared. Everything was silent until they all muttered curses when they saw yet another intern.

Colin Fisher was having a normal day. He was knew Dr. Brennan was going to fire him. Or worst, make him work in slave like conditions. Or worse- Oh no. He saw Vincent, Wendell, and Daisy already here. Dr. Brennan was going to fire him in front of them, saying he was the worst intern she ever worked with. He sighed and swiped himself on the platform.

"Having a good day, Fisher?" Wendell asked, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"As brilliant as Daisy's is." His voice was just as sarcastic.

"It just got more brilliant." Daisy wished she was with Lance right now.

Arastoo Vaziri walked swiftly in the lab, knowing he was cutting it close. Dr. Brennan had asked them to be there for five minutes ago. He almost ran into Clark. They stiffly got out of each other's path and went to the platform.

"Oh, no," muttered Clark as he saw all the other interns present. They all looked like rays of sunshine with their smiling faces.

Dr. Brennan stepped on the forensic platform leisurely with a smile on her face.

"Good afternoon everyone. I'm sure you're all wondering why I asked you to be here."

"No, we'll just do as you say without asking any questions because we're just that loyal," muttered Clark.

"What was that, Dr. Edison?" Dr. Brennan looked at him curiously. All the other interns rolled their eyes at him.

"Nothing Dr. Brennan," Clark said quickly. She nodded.

"I have talked to Dr. Saroyan today and Agent Booth and agreed you need a team building activity." Wendell had a bad feeling about this. Very bad feeling.

"While both of them made suggestions, I made the final decision," she said.

"You will be living together for an extended period of time," she said. The interns' faces were all of horror, shock, and disbelief.

Wendell's mouth fell open.

Daisy gasped in horror. "What!?" She shrieked in Wendell and Vincent's ears. Both men cringed.

Vincent's lit up and he began blabbing about the benefits of having roommates. When he remembered who his roommates were, he stopped talking.

"This is worse than anything I could've imagined!" Fisher said in horror.

Arastoo closed his eyes and began to pray for strength.

"Dr. Brennan, unlike these snobs, I have a social life!" Clark protested.

"Hey, I resent that!" Fisher glared at Clark.

"I have a social life too!" Daisy said.

"What exactly do find in each other that you dislike?" Dr. Brennan asked, ignoring all the comments that had been said.

"Fisher ruins my day every time I see him since he so down all the time," Daisy answered quickly, trying to be the first to respond to her question.

"I find Arastoo to be full of sentimental crap," Fisher said, ignoring Daisy's comment.

"Dr. Edison seems to like to make us feel inferior." Arastoo didn't react to Fisher's insult.

"Mr. Nigel-Murray is a know-it-all," Clark responded.

"Wendell is very stubborn, while not a bad quality and can found in many people, but it can result to-" Wendell interrupted Vincent.

"Daisy is obsessive and way too optimistic," Wendell said.

"I see." Dr. Brennan paused for a moment.

"Due to your answers, you will leave together for three months," she decided.

"I have already purchased an apartment suited for your needs." She handed Vincent an envelope.

"This the address and three months rent." Angela, Cam, and Hodgins all came on the platform.

"Have you decided on team building activity yet, Dr. Brennan?" Cam asked curiously.

"Yes, they will all be living together for three months," she said. Hodgins immediately burst into laughter.

"Now this have to see!" Hodgins whipped out his phone and took a picture of all their faces with a gleeful smile on his face.

"Really?" Cam said in surprise. Angela looked at them sympathetically.

"Don't worry, you guys will survive," she assured with a smile.

"I would like you to be moved in by this weekend," Dr. Brennan told them. There were mutters of agreement and a couple of swear words in the mix. Since it was Thursday, it didn't give them alot of time...

The next day...

It was five in the morning when Wendell opened his door grumpily, ready to beat up who was knocking. Fisher was standing there, looking ready to endure a beating. Wendell rolled his eyes.

"What do want?" Wendell asked, leaning against the doorway.

"I'm here to help you move," Fisher stated.

"Now? It's five in the morning." Wendell sighed and rubbed his face.

"I knew this would happen. I guess I have to go pay the dude who gave us the truck to take it back. Oh, what a world, what a world." Fisher was better and guilt tripping then he gave himself credit for.

"Help me move the mattress," Wendell ordered and he and Fisher quickly moved the mattress down three flights of stairs. They were almost to the bottom when Wendell tripped and both of them and the mattress went flying down the last flight of stairs.

"I knew this would happen," Fisher muttered.

"You guys okay?" They both heard Arastoo ask them. Daisy and Vincent lifted the mattress and basically threw it in the back of the truck.

"Careful! My great-great-great- grandmother's wine glasses are in there!" Clark shouted from the driver's seat.

"Clark's driving this thing?" Wendell asked, sounding surprised.

"I lost when he chose scissors and I chose paper. I knew I was going to lose, I shouldn't have even tried. Yet I did." Wendell rolled his eyes as he picked himself off the ground. He peeked in the back of the truck to see mattresses, bedposts, dressers, and boxes of clothing. Sighing, he went back up to his apartment to grab his other necessities. Dr. Brennan told them that their apartments would be vacant when they returned. With the help of the other interns, Wendell managed to get all of his bare essentials without falling down the stairs. Not one rude thing had been said. Yet.

By the time they arrived, Clark and Daisy got into a fight about the discovery of ancient skeleton in Africa. Arastoo had taken over the wheel, while Vincent and Wendell were frantically flipping through a set of books about Ancient Africa. Since, there were notes in the margins, you could tell it was Fisher's books and when it said things like: "Those slaves live in a better world then we do" or "Those people didn't know how easy they had it." Speaking of Fisher, he looked content as he watched the argument.

"That's right! Let all your anger out! The world is a better place without it!" Fisher shouted, raising a bottle of champagne to the air before taking a swig. Clark and Daisy lunged at each other, both yelling. Two empty bottles of champagne were on the floor, forgotten. Arastoo opened the little window to see the what the all the ruckus was about.

"What's going on back there?" He asked as he ducked when of one Daisy's high heels almost hit him in the face. He quickly turned bac to the road.

"They're drunk," said Vincent, pulling back a blanket where several more bottle of champagne were. Fisher was now asleep with a smile on his face, giggling occasionally. Arastoo had a feeling there was another reason Clark wanting him to drive. With a sigh, he closed the window, still looking at the road. Clark and Daisy were now asleep in a very awkward position. Vincent and Wendell shrugged and drank the rest of the champagne.

Arastoo sighed in relief as they finally got to the apartment building. He opened the little window to announce the news.

"Hey, we're-" he stopped and saw they were all asleep and drunk. He sighed and got out the car. He went to check out the apartment when he remembered that they all promised not to enter the apartment without everybody. He didn't really want to move everything all by himself either. He pinched the bridge of his nose with a sigh. It was almost seven. They probably would be awake around two. Arastoo didn't know what to do with himself. With a sigh, he pulled out a leather book and began to write.

Seven hours later...

Fisher woke up, feeling a bit groggy. He sighed, muttering curses under his breath as he stood up with difficulty. Clark and Daisy began to stir. As soon as they were aware of their position, they immediately got up, too embarrassed to look at each other. Vincent and Wendell both got up slowly, leaning against each other for support.

"I hope you're all happy," Arastoo said, obviously irritated.

Fisher felt normal, aside from a pounding headache and nausea. He didn't answer Arastoo and instead lifted a nearby bedside table to carry to the door. Clark and Daisy grabbed a mattress and Wendell and Vincent managed to carry a dresser.

"Are all of you ready?" Arastoo asked, holding the key that Vincent had given him. When they all nodded, he unlocked the door. Or at least he tried.

"Hurry up, I have gotta vomit," Fisher said, looked a bit nauseous.

"Oh, this is rubbish! Let me try." Vincent let go on the dresser, causing Wendell to drop it his foot.

"Holy crap, that's heavy!" Wendell was now hopping on one foot, glaring at Vincent. Vincent managed to get the door open with ease. Arastoo rolled his eyes before entering. Clark and Daisy entered next. Wendell and Vincent managed to grab the dresser again. They were all in.

It wasn't the cleanest of places. The light wooden floor was very dusty and the magenta walls had tiny holes in them. The people that previously owned the place had left all their appliances. Except there was no microwave. The windows were so dirty, that the room was dark. Dr. Brennan had bought them a new couch. It was a lime green couch shaped like an L.

"It's... beautiful," Daisy said quietly. Fisher scoffed.

"That's stretching it too far, but I have to admit, it's better than I anticipated," Fisher stated.

"Big surprise," muttered Wendell.

"It'll work," Clark said. He and Daisy set the mattress against a wall and went back to the truck to get more of their things.

"If you guys need me I'll be in the bathroom, vomiting." Fisher sent the bedside table down and practically ran to bathroom, almost tripping several times over his untied shoelaces. By the time he was done, everyone else was collapsed on the large, plush couch.

"Wow, you guys move fast," he remarked, collapsing next to Wendell.

"Not really. You just vomit slowly," Clark said. Wendell laughed.

"About are bedroom situation, you share the room on the left side of the hallway with Wendell, Vincent shares the room on the right with Daisy, Clark shares the room in the middle with me," Arastoo explained to Fisher.

"How did you decide that?" Fisher asked, looking a bit put out.

"We drew straws," Daisy answered.

"I'm going to bed." Fisher got up and ignored the pile of stuff that the other interns kindly brought him for him. Arastoo left to return the truck and the others, who had hangovers, also sent or bed.

The next day...

Daisy woke up slowly, rolling to her side to see Vincent's bed empty and neatly made. She got up and gathered her stuff for a shower. Humming cheerfully, she stepped in and just as she was about to turn on the water, she noticed her bottle of hair conditioner was empty. She stopped humming since she just got the bottle and hadn't used it once. She grabbed her towel and wrapped it around herself. She walked angrily out of the bathroom and into the kitchen.

"Good morning D- Whoa! What are you doing!?" Clark looked shocked as he spilled coffee on the floor. Wendell was choking on his and Vincent spat his out. Fisher whacked him on the back. Hard.

"Anything, old friend," Fisher said sarcastically.

"Uh, Daisy, do you need something?" Arastoo asked, looking uncomfortable.

"Which one of you used all of my conditioner!? She asked.

"Um, we were out of shaving cream so we used your conditioner," Wendell admitted.

"I thought we weren't telling her that!" Fisher stated, looking flustered.

"Well, we wouldn't have used it if Vincent didn't tell us it had the same effect as shaving cream," Clark muttered.

"Actually, it's better!" Vincent said brightly.

"You should be ashamed of yourselves! That was Lancelot's favorite! You owe me a new bottle!" Daisy yelled.

"In our defense, it was a small bottle," Fisher said quietly.

"It would put us all of ease if you would go and clothe yourself," Vincent said timidly. Daisy glared at them for a few more minutes before stalking away. She returned a few moments later, clothed and seething.

"If none of you gentlemen are going to use the shower, I am planning to wash," Vincent stated. They all shook their heads and moments later, Vincent was singing in the shower. Fisher was obviously getting annoyed. All the songs were very positive, obviously aggravating to Fisher. To further Fisher's irritation, Daisy hummed along, smiling. Fisher reached into his bag of items and grabbed a familiar looking plant. He ran to the bathroom since Vincent had informed them the child deaths were more common in bathtubs than guns, which is why he never locked the door. He said it was a habit since childhood. Vincent stopped singing and then was followed by a startled yelp.

"Wasn't that Dieffenbachia?" Wendell asked, and was answered by nods from the other three people. Fisher came out, looking like strangely triumphant. Vincent followed soon after, strangely quiet. He sat down and the whole place was silent.

"Well, what should we do?" Daisy asked, looking around the table.

"We? I don't know about you, but I was planning to go back to bed," Clark said.

"Really? Dr. Brennan expects us to do team building activities every day," she stated.

"Every day? I don't know if I can deal with you guys without getting drunk again," Wendell said.

"I hear ya," Fisher muttered.

"How about we play Truth or Dare without the dare?" Daisy suggested.

"Well, it would be a good idea to participate in something that will get us to know each other. The dare would be completely irrelevant since the point is to get to know each other, not watching each other humiliate ourselves," Clark agreed.

"Although, that's always a plus," Fisher muttered. Vincent cleared his throat.

"I concur," he said hoarsely. Fisher didn't look the least bit guilty.

"Oh, come on guys! That game is an excuse for teenage boys to kiss girls," he said.

"There shouldn't be any kissing," Arastoo said.

"Yeah, there is only one point and that is to get to know each other," Daisy said. Fisher imitated her. She glared at him while Wendell and Clark snickered.

"I'll start. Fisher, What's the most exotic place you've made out with someone?" Daisy asked. He sighed.

"Right down to the interesting stuff. It was in a dumpster. My grandfather was right outside. Good thing he forgot his hearing aids," Fisher muttered. He looked around.

"Wendell, what is your most humiliating moment?" He asked, giving him a wicked smile. Wendell hesitated.

"Hmmm, the time when I had to dance at a night club when a friend was to sick to do it himself," he said quietly, the tips of his ears turning red as he remembered. Clark and Vincent snickered.

"Clark, what is the stupidest thing you've ever said?" Wendell asked with a strained smile.

"I could tell you that," Daisy said. Clark glared at her.

"That Mexico and Spain were in the same place," he said. There were snickers in the room.

"How old were you when you said that?" Arastoo asked, chuckling.

"Twelve."

Vincent chuckled. "How jocular!" Clark rolled his eyes.

"Vincent, what's your favorite color?"

"Really Clark!? That's so boring!" Daisy exclaimed.

"What? I don't know his favorite color! Remember the point of the game," he said.

"Did you know that the most popular color is blue? The second most popular is-" Clark interrupted him.

"Please just answer," he said, quickly losing patience.

"I would say green," he decided.

"Arastoo, what is it you miss most about Iran?" Vincent looked at him expectantly.

"My brother," he answered immediately.

"I didn't know you had a brother," Clark said, sounding surprised. Their chatter continued and soon time passed.

"Well, I have my Saturday night tradition to go to. Anyone care to join me?" Asked Fisher.

"Sure," Wendell agreed. Daisy, Vincent, and Clark. They all looked at Arastoo.

"I don't drink," he said.

"I know, but someone's gotta drive." Fisher grinned.

They all stumbled in, drunk as sailors. Arastoo had to help Daisy and Fisher, who had made out in the back seat. They were both giggling about Fisher's pony. He managed to get all the drunk people inside. Daisy was now balancing Clark's great-great-great-grandmother's wine glasses on her tongue while Fisher was shouting things like: Peace on Earth and goodwill to men! The best in things in life are free!" To the vacuum cleaner. Vincent was passed out on the couch, Clark was breakdancing, and Wendell was singing Bible verses in Latin. Arastoo was just happy their neighbors were gone for the weekend.

Fisher woke up drooling on the vacuum cleaner with a massive headache. Daisy was surrounded with Clark's great-great-great-grandmother's wine glasses. Or what used to be wine glasses, Wendell woke up without his voice, Clark could barely move, and Vincent was still out.

"Good morning," Arastoo said cheerfully.

"I'm never drinking again!" Fisher moaned, stumbling to the bedroom.

"Are those my great-great-great-grandmother's wine glasses?!" Clark asked, his voice getting higher as he looked at the shards.

"Oh, ummmmm-" Clark interrupted Daisy.

"I hated those things," he muttered.

"Good night!" Clark left the room. Daisy and Wendell followed. Vincent woke up long enough to go to the bedroom. Arastoo chuckled and drank his coffee. Maybe this wouldn't be as bad as he thought. Maybe.

Sorry if it was too long or lame. Happy Birthday Heavenly Survivor! This was probably be a one-shot, but who knows? Thanks for reading and please review! Love, EmilyHarmony


End file.
